Bichi "Gran Listan"

Bichi "Gran Listan"
Varietal: Misión
Region: Tecate, Baja, Mexico
Year: 2015
Price: $26.99
Retailer: Domaine LA
Importer: Farm Wine Imports

It's a new year but I'm still up to my old tricks. I'm starting 2017 off with this light bodied red despite one of my resolutions being to drink more white wine. Partly because I've been saving this bottle for months to write about because I love the font work so much, and partly because the New Year doesn't really start until the first business day of the year. And mostly because I do not give a shit. The proverbial New Year means nothing to me. I don't detox, and I have the same resolutions every damn morning: drink more water and make motherfuckers rue the day. 

I'll get to more white wine when it gets hot again in like two weeks.

In the mean time,
MORE RED WINE.
AND PANTS. 

Baja has been blowing up as a wine region over the last couple years, but Bichi is the only natural winery there. In fact, it's the only natural winery in all of Mexico. Headed up by one of my favorite Chilean winemakers, Louis-Antoine Luyt, and chef Jair Téllez of MeroToro, Bichi is bringing little known varietals like Misión into bottles. Named for the California Missions it was historically grown on, the Misión grape is very Gamay-like and subsequently (predictably), I fucking love it.

El Paso

Marty Robbins

I popped the Gran Listan and couldn't help but belting out the first line of Marty Robbins' "El Paso" over and over, much to the annoyance of everyone in my house. Literally just the "Out in the West Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl" part. So, very annoying.

But whatever!
It was love at first sip!  

Energetic and poppy but so satiny and balanced, the Gran Listan reminds me of an amazingly untrained dancer. They can't formally salsa, tap, waltz or twerk, but god damn can they cut a rug. They are having the most fun out of anyone on the floor, and their moves are so fucking smooth. Like how did they take Dad-style double-gun shooting and segue it into sexy shoulder shimmying? I thought hips only moved like that in old Skinamax movies? And were they just crip-walking? A little? But it wasn't like try hard, it was just like, really great footwork? It's magnetic and delicious, and you can't help be drawn to it. 

It's the wine you wish would be at the bar on a Saturday night, and the wine you want to hang out with on a Tuesday: casual, but always a good time. 

Tasting Notes: Vibrant, gauzy purple-red on the eyes. Smells like a horse running down a dusty road of sour Skittles powder and crushed roses. Tastes like cold-pressed sour raspberries, dusty roses and a touch of eucalyptus on the back. A little dirty, but oh so delightful and smooth.

Ross Test: Yes. YES. YESSSSS!

Vin de California "Sans" Zinfandel

Full disclosure, this is Adam Vourvoulis' wine and he is a good friend. But I am not writing this because of that. I'm writing it because I tried Adam's wine at a tasting a few weeks ago, and felt compelled to tell you about it.

Vin de California "Sans" Zinfandel
Region: Arroyo Grande, California
Year: 2016
Price: $23
Retailer: COMING SOON

I have a boss. You may know him. His name is Adam Rapoport, otherwise known as Rapo. Or as I like to call him, Rapo Dad, because I always need his approval, from pitches to projects to personally just wanting him to like me and my work because he's Adam Fucking Rapoport.

A few days ago while discussing an upcoming trip the BA team is taking out to the best coast, I was saying we needed to drink wine and he agreed with the caveat, "But we're not gonna be sitting around on your sofa with our socks sipping chard and zin..." to which I exclaimed a big "PFFFFFT!!!" [hair toss]

And now here I am, with a brand new pair of knitted socks I bought at the army surplus store after a pet-nat rosé fueled brunch and whaddddaaayyyaaaknooowww, A ZINFANDEL. Dads, man. Sometimes they do know best. 

The last few years have seen an increase in usage of "juice." In the wine world, this is a noun synonymous with "wine," and used for casual conversation, describing a wine that is super gluggy, or just being a cool guy? I don't know, I don't know anyone who would be like, "YO PASS ME THAT JUICE!" but it sounds like some shit we will be hearing on the next season of Fuck That's Delicious. 

But the Vin de California "Sans" Zinfandel is LEGIT JUICE. Like some serious fruit that goes down easier than a Capri Sun with two straws. Forget about 16% ABV bullshit that tastes like hot Smuckers and makes you feel like you tried a vodka soaked tampon for the first time. That is not this Zinfandel (thank god). The "Sans" Zinfandel tastes like Zinfandel is having the best Sunday of its god damn life. It's youthful and sunny, but also chill, and oh shit! It just came back from a brunch with a serious buzz and everything is possible/hilarious. It's unfussy, delicious, and you want to drink it up. 

And while it is delightful to sit on my sofa and sip, what I love about the Sans is it makes me want to not do that. It makes me wish I was sipping it on a faraway grassy and fantastical afternoon with friends at the Silverlake Meadow, a place I've only been to once but haven't nearly gotten arrested there for drinking Tecates on a Monday like I have at Echo Park so I feel like it's a safer bet for chugging wine out of the bottle. 

Tasting Notes: Smells like a bag of melted cherry Starbursts on a leather backseat. Tastes like a blend of pure cherry and plum juice, with hints of raspberry and Red Vines. Lightly jammy, but in the best way possible. Like great jam that you want to AND CAN jam on. It's very fine lines with jam, trust I get it. But trust me. Natural with carbonic maceration and hints of BOMB-OLEEOOO.

Ross Test: It tastes like it was made to be drank this way, as you can see by the ease and pleasure I take in slugging this shit back. Fuck glassware, drink VDS. 

Total side note, but I tore a page out of my homie Charles Ford's book of drinking wine in the shower and took a glass of Sans chilled in with me this afternoon. Of all the varietals in all the world, Zin would not be the first I would think of to sip on in between shaving my left and right leg, but god damn was it satisfying. After, I put on my new socks and curled up on the couch with the bottle to write about it, and felt equally charmed, and I've been here ever since. 

Franco Terpin "Quinto Quarto"

Franco Terpin "Quinto Quarto" 
Varietal: Pinot Grigio
Region: Delle Venezie, Italy
Year: 2015
Price: $23.75
Retailer: Domaine LA 
(Thanks for picking it out for me, Courtney Walsh!)
Importer: Critical Mass Selections

Californians complaining about the weather has to be one of the most obnoxious things about us to other Americans. But I'm going to do it anyway. It's been fucking hot for a really fucking long time, and I'm going a little nuts. Even though today was supposed to be 71, it's still too hot to wear a big fuzzy sweater and it's too sunny to even pretend it's anything but perpetual summer; something I naively wished for in my youth so, sorry guys. This is my fault. 

As much as I love light bodied wines, come "fall", I long for big bodied wines that make me feel like my insides are wearing wool pull-overs while being serenaded by Tom Waits' crunchy leaf-ed voice. I want to curl up in everything, transcend into hibernation, and cross my fingers to awake in four to six months a brand new bear.

That isn't happening.

I'm bra-less in a paper thin shirt and light sweatpants and feel like I need to turn the AC on. So, it's depressingly not anything near hibernation is what I'm saying. 

But Terpin's "Quinto Quarto" is comforting me in the best way possible. Chill on the outside but warm on the inside, this skin-contact Pinot Grigio is refreshing to my lips but sweater weather to my gut. It has immediately transported me to some waspy-exotic east coast dreamtown with weather-worn brick buildings, cool breezes, and piles of leaves that children dressed better than I ever have spend their afternoons jumping into. There's also golden retrievers. Because. 

Usually Italian wines take me back to Italy, especially Veneto wines, but not this one. This one gives me houndstooth and hounds and Stars Hollow. Part of me wants to say, "It's because that's what I want." Maybe that's true, but also I drink plenty of wines all year that don't necessarily transport me to Gilmore Girls, a show I have only seen eight episodes of. 

It's crisp but cozy, orange and fuzzy. It's a fall wine, and I think it will take you where ever you close your eyes and imagine J.Crew photoshoots of camel colored trench coats taking place. 

This is one of those thinking wines, that you can ruminate on but can also ruin if you think too hard. The bouquet is off-putting if I give it more than a genuine sniff before diving into drinking, and honestly, I think it needs to be enjoyed alongside a meal. It has me craving some sort of light pasta dish, or some roasted tomatoes slathered onto some focaccia. Alone it is a little dense and overwhelming, but alas, all I have is sharp cheddar cheese, and despite its savory charcuterie aromas, I can tell you from experience that it does not pair well with sharp cheddar cheese. 

But it does pair well with daydreaming of cinematic seasons, and that is most important for today.

Tasting Notes: It smells like sweaty prosciutto and soppressata, with warm orange pith and tangelo zest. Medium-light body, with a satin texture. Tastes like almost-over-ripe ruby grapefruits, stalky green herbs and hints of malty beer.

Ross Test: Do-able, but bitter. Better in a glass.

Kezako Cab Franc, Track Suits & Getting Older

Sebastien David "Kenzako" Cab Franc
Price: $31.99
Region: Loire, France
Year: 2012
Retailer: DomaineLA

Tomorrow is my birthday. This is the first year I'm not throwing myself a big birthday party, and it's something I am cool with. Usually I need a big birthday party because I have to feed the monster that those who are close to me know is my ego, but this year, I just don't care. Or I'm too tired to care. I can't tell. Too much work and wine and uppers in the last month to give much of a shit about anything besides chilling out.

Hence my new tracksuit look.
It's a new year and a new style, but still the same old, "YO THERE IS NOTHING THAT MEANS MORE TO ME THAN CHILLING COMFORTABLY TOPLESS WITH MY WINE." 

Shout out to my new sponsors, Adidas. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm still doing lunch tomorrow and dinner tomorrow and going to Napa for four days. But that's a very adult birthday. This is the most adult birthday I've had in my whole life, which makes sense since this is the most adult I've ever been.

And this is a very adult wine for me to just be chugging alone in a tracksuit. I mean, it was $31.99. I don't go around buying wines that expensive for every day chugging, but fuck it, I'm going to be old tomorrow so GOTTA LIVE IT UP. TITTIES OUT. CAB FRANC IN MY MOUTH.

I love this wine. It tastes like I'm an adult.
Which I am.
Officially.
[weeps]

I am cool with it, really. The other night after a lot of wine, weed and other things, I laid in bed on cloud nine, thinking about how I'm definitely the most stressed I've ever been, but I'm also the closet to getting what I want in life than I've ever been. And that's why getting older is pretty cool. Suddenly the things you have been working towards on are the horizon, and not just in your dreams.

And you have track suits.
And kinda expensive natural French wines.
And still write with pieces of your childhood stuffed rabbit clutched in your hands because no matter how many track suits you own or how many wines you drink you are still an emotionally stunted and scared human trying to make something of herself. Which is always good to know. 

Anyway, this wine is really good. Birthdays are cool. Adidas is tight, thanks for sending me dope shit. I love Bun-Bun (suck it, Dad, yeah I've still got it, nice try trying to get me to throw it out when I was 10 HA HAAAA!).

Time to clean my house and get back to work and forget that birthdays are even a thing because there's way too much other shit to deal with than me being a year older. HA HAAAAA CAUSE I'M SUCH A GOD DAMN ADULT I'M SUCH AN ADULT MAN IT'S CRAZY I'M SO ADULTISH THIS IS WHY ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS AND I'M LIKE WHYYYY LOL IT'S CAUSE I'M GOING TO BE OLD TOMORROW! AND NOT THIRTY OLD. I'M NOT THIRTY YET. JUST ALMOST. BUT I MEAN IT'S COOL. AND EVEN THIRTY IS GONNA BE COOL. EVERYTHING IS VERY COOL. WE'RE COOL. I'M COOL GUYS.

Alright I just expelled all my energy caring for five seconds and now I don't care again. 

Such an adult! 

Tasting Notes: This wine is so good. Very much worth $31.99. It's got that natty freshness ya'all know I can't get enough of. The color is a deepening purple, like a very dark sea. It smells like fresh blackberries, anise, and a little ashy. The palate is super refreshing and poppy, with lots of raspberry and pepper, and a hint of my own tears.

Ross Test: I Ross Tested HALF THE BOTTLE. I only got a glass because I was like, "Oh, it'd be irresponsible of me not to at least try it in a glass." Enough said.

Wine Time: Tinajas de la Mata with Mark Cope

Tinajas de la Mata
Price: $24.99
Year: 2011
Region: Alicante, Spain
Retailer: DomaineLA

This is a really weird wine, but it's one of my absolute favorites. It is so weird though, that I wanted a guest who would be 100% honest about it. So I invited childhood best friend/college roommate/protective older brother forever and "The Most Popular Girls In School" creator Mark Cope to come sit on tiny poufs and drink this funky shit and make fun of me and the first time I ever got drunk because that's what life long friends do. 

This is a super cool wine also because it's a natural orange wine. Bernabe, the bro who makes this, puts all the grapes in these clay pots called Tinajas and just lets them do their thing. And the thing they do is AMAZING. IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD. It tastes like the year I spent drinking Petrus Aged Pales alone at Sunset Beer.

Check out more episodes of Wine Time here!

Cinematography by Antoin Huynh 
Music by Monster Rally 
Edited by Claire Gavin